Am confused about something. My grandmother married again when my mother also got married and she had her 7th born a year before I was born so he’s my uncle but also my best friend.
We did everything together and I remember when we were young I think he was 9 and I was 8when he said if we grow up and our parents will allow we will get married. It’s just child talk ma so I didn’t even make anything out of it

My grandparents moved from the area and though my uncle and I were still in contact we weren’t like that buddy buddy close again. But he was always a part of my life and celebrated my milestones with me.

I finished uni last year and he came to my graduation. Then he asked me like a joking way “when do you want us to get married?” Then I told him also in a joke “when my father says yes”

Then I moved from him to see my friends.

In school, I met the guy am with now but told him I want to graduate before I take him seriously because I don’t want anyone to use me to finish his course. My friends know him and I know he never dated anyone on campus. Even some of my friends tried but he’ll always tell them am his future wife and he loves me soo much that he can’t do anything that will hurt me.

He asked me a week later to accept him which I did. I told my uncle and he came to visit me at home crying when no one was there, he grabbed me and kissed me and I don’t know but I kissed him back. I liked it but I pushed him away.

Since then ma I can’t get thoughts of my uncle from my mind. We’ve kissed a few times since then but I’m always thinking about him. My boyfriend kisses well but they are normal, like I don’t feel anything. I’m always thinking about my uncle. It’s a taboo, have asked and we can’t get married but am worried I’ll never feel the same way for my fiance like I feel for my uncle.

Ma my uncle is still a v_rgin. The whole family has been asking him where his girlfriend is. Some think he’s gay and just last week he told my parents that it’s affecting him so he wants to see them this weekend and tell them the whole truth why he’s never dated. I’m worried ma. Have told him not to say anything but he says he hates being called gay when he’s not. Am worried ma, what should I do?